Are you living with grief?

Note: After seven active years, this list is currently in hiatus.

You are not alone. The GoodGrief mailing list, begun in July 1999, includes members from around the world, although most are in the USA. As moderator, I maintain the privacy of those who post to the twice-weekly list while doing my best to encourage communication among all of us. Telling bits of my story has helped open doors for others who want to move beyond their grief from many sources. Who want to live beyond grief. Who want to be able to turn what they’ve learned from their grief into comfort and support for someone else.
     The hands and hearts here represent some of our members and those they love. We share these names with you that you also may remember with joy those who are no longer living on this earth with us, and may share our joy in those who are. As one of our members, Janice, said so well, “I worry every day about his spirit and will to go on, to find hope and meaning in the days. I believe that thoughts and prayers from people who don't even know him have power, should he get just one small prayer from one compassionate person, it will matter.”
     If you want to join us, send a request with your first name and, if you will, a bit of your story so we can begin to know you, and I will add you to the list.

Chas
January 2, 2009

The Books

Two of my books speak to many in our GoodGrief Community and to others who know or have known grief, or who wish to ease the pain of others they know. Two years after my son John died, I wrote Black Hole: unexpected tool for joyous living. Ten years later, I updated it and added photographs.
     In addition, some of the stories in The Turnip Mercedes speak to moving through and beyond a variety of griefs.
     I wish you peace as you rediscover the joy our lives are meant to be.

From a GoodGrief Post:

I saw a photograph yesterday of a two-year-old girl as she was finishing her  birthday dinner of spaghetti with red sauce. I laughed and laughed, because, sure enough, she had spaghetti sauce in her (longish, dark, curly) hair and — most important for my memories — in her left ear. Couldn't see her right ear well enough to be sure there was some there, too, but maybe.
     I was reminded of my daughter Jenny who, on her second birthday, wore more spaghetti sauce than she swallowed. She grew up to be a very neat eater, but it took her several years of wearing lots of food to do it.
     With my friend's permission, I sent the photo of his niece to my daughter, who laughed and laughed. She'd needed something to laugh about, too, so the timing turned out to be excellent.
     Still, in spite of how often I harp on 'write down the stories of those you love,' I think this may be the first time I've ever written the story of Jenny's birthday spaghetti even though it's one of our family legends.
     Time  to follow my own advice for more family legends and other stories. Not tonight, because it's late and morning shows up early every day. Maybe soon, though.
     Don't let my lack of follow-through on writing out the stories stop you, though, and feel free to share your stories with us here.

July 29, 2004